Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
