Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
