You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
