do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
