My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I have all the porn. Be there soon
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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