This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
