You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
The beer is more important than you right now.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
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