I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.