I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going