So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Boobs speak an international language.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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