I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I will pee on everything he values.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
