i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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