Are we in a gay sports bar?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
