I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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