when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
so much tequila, so little girl.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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