i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
