I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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