I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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