I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
