whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
