My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
