I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize