The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
only if we run a train.
done.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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