I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
