I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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