Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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