The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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