actually, I'm a sock model
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
