So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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