It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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