I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
