btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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