can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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