$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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