he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
