hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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