an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
