Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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