i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
