we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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