Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
