He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
