he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
