all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Randomize
