can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
