this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
