how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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