I heard we made out
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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