How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
we're so committed to being not committed
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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