i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
