I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
