im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
