I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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