If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
