he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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