It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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