Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
