I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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