I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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