We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just found puke in my bra..
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
