it wasn't lemon gatorade
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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