I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
