picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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