Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
