Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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