i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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