I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
