I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
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If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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