being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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