My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
