ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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