I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
