my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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