I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
