Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
