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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.

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• (315): View more from New York

  I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Will you skip merrily into hell with me?

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  i dont know im at your house.

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